The Diary of an Insomniac: Archive

Halfway

I’m with one of the biggest jerks in history and I don’t know why I still stay.

Apr 11th

Still trying

I’m now actually disappointed because no one uses Multiply anymore. I mean, yeah they still post stuff but still. I’ve nothing more to read, nothing more to think about and comment on. It’s sad that people turn to Facebook, thereby losing the ability to articulate feelings. (There is another side to the story, because creating one-liners is not easy) I wish blogging’s hot...

Nov 10th

Some form of communication

It’s hard to get past the “Ok lang, ikaw?” stage of a virtual conversation after you’ve stopped talking and then start talking again after more than 4 years. I don’t like getting into kamusta-eto-ok-lang-anong-bago-sa-yo-wala-naman convos that end with sige-baka-magalit-bf-mo-kachat-mo-ata-ingat. Totally defeats the purpose of communicating.

Sep 16th

this is friggin funny.

It’s something someone wrote for me. I’m pretty sure it’s me. Sell-out title. Boo. i’m still w0ndering. What happened? I kn0w luma na ‘to, pero i’m still left blank. All i remember was that i had alot of wires stuck oN My head. People surr0unding me like theyve seEn sum1 wakin up fr0m dEath. Nsa makati med nako nit0. Rec0rds of 5mins na walang pulse rate, EEG...

Jun 17th

Closure.

I decided to peruse that entry by James once again. I feel old whenever I think about our relationship. I was too idealistic back then, and I never thought I’d fall out of love for him. I was a child! So was he. And now I know not everything’s forgiven and forgotten. Closure. It’s something I have never really perfected. When I need to end things, I just pack up and leave....

Mar 6th

This is not right. I am speechless.

There are about 5000 things I’d like to say but I can’t. Not that I don’t think they’re right. I think they ARE right, just not right for the occasion. I’m not sure if talking to him is the right thing to do. I mean, we’ve been talking, and talking again. We’ve been opening and closing this “thing” we have. This is case is closed, as far as I...

Jan 26th

This is not my idea of Christmas

I’m at the edge of keeping other people out again. Sooner or later I’ll be left alone, probably happier that way. This storm will rage on and on, and I’m losing faith. Okay, cut the crap. This isn’t my Multiply page. I want him to stay away, because I can’t forgive him for what he’s done. I don’t know what to feel. I can’t stop him from doing...

Dec 23rd

Greeeen.

Love drives me to the edge of sanity. I didn’t want to feel awkward. I didn’t want to feel like I’m losing control, but I did. So I pushed down a shot of tequila, and now it’s worse. It’s not pain, it’s irritation, only aggravated by the fact that I’m so far away. And he’s there with her. I know she’s stupid. But he could get stupid too. Her...

Dec 20th

I wouldn't like me if I met me.

I’m just so glad he did. Last Saturday he finally met my father. Oh yes, the sperm cell donor to whom I am eternally half-indebted to (the other half of the eternal debt goes to my mother, the egg cell donor). Daddy was silent as usual, and he was uncomfortable. I’m glad Daddy and the boys left the house for a few hours so we could get some ‘alone time’. It’s been...

Dec 8th

Trenta minutos

30 minutes. Half an hour. That’s 1/12 of my day that I’m not getting back because I spent it on something futile, something that should’ve been over and done for years. I spent it on you. What else could I expect?

Dec 2nd

Smart Bro's fucking up

And my 17-year-old cousin is pregnant. How smart. I can’t see myself pregnant. I can’t even see myself married. I mean, yeah, you could get pregnant even before marriage but still. I think I’m not the sort who would attach herself that way to anybody. I don’t want to get married. Sure, I’m just 18, and the world is laid out in front of me, and I don’t know...

Sep 13th

And then, there are those days when all I want to...

I feel the need to sleep because I want to escape. Today, I listened to someone talk about sci-fi. I’m not a huge fan, but I appreciate stuff like these, being a budding writer, so to speak. Then I thought, “Am I that stupid?” I can’t even ask a question. And the paper I’m supposed to write is still in Level 1 - Preparatory stage. Gahd, what do I need to do with...

Sep 8th

I've had enough.

I hate you, you self-righteous, overbearing joke of a man. I wasted two years of my life on you and to no avail. If, for some reason, you want to teach me a lesson, I suggest you practice what you preach first because I’m not listening. I’ve developed selective hearing. I don’t heed advice from people like you anymore. Who are you to tell me about placing my life in God’s...

Sep 4th

I need a little time to breathe.

I hate Math. It seems like I’m gonna do MATH22 (MATH11 all over again) and I don’t like that. I don’t want to get a 5 but I’m sorry to say that I’m such a klutz at solving numbers and letters put together. I haven’t been posting blogs on my Multiply. I need space (from what? From practically EVERYBODY). I need a secret place and I’m not about to divulge...

Aug 28th

My home on Multiply →

Aug 24th

by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.

Aug 24th